The Grind, the Climb, and the Landing

Despite it being 2020 and some days/months feeling incredibly long, overall time still flies. I think it is true what they say about kids…the days are long but the years are short.

Sometimes it is difficult to provide frequent updates about Blaise- because truth of the matter is- while we celebrate his victories (both small and large), the journey to get there is not fast, nor is it always linear. So if I were to provide, let’s say weekly, updates on Blaise’s progress, I would likely be reporting the same things over and over for some time.

I have been thinking for a few months now about how I categorize the (seemingly) long road to milestones for Blaise- and I have finally landed on how it feels as his officially unofficial physical, occupational, and speech therapist. There are three steps to a milestone: the Grind, the Climb, and the Landing.

THE GRIND

This stage is the worst. This because it is the hardest for all involved and met with the most resistance from our little man. This is also the least documented stage because there is so much hands on work (no extra hands for videos or photos) and tears from Blaise. There is certainly a lot of frustration- and it lasts for an unknown period of time. We are in this stage anytime that Blaise is starting to work on a new skill. For example, we have been working very hard on his weight bearing and walking, while using his AFOs (Ankle Foot Orthotics) and SMOs (Supra Malleolar Orthotics). It takes two adults to facilitate this movement. Blaise generally likes to behave as if his legs do not work. He uses his upper body to drag his lower body everywhere. So you can imagine trying to make him stand AND move his legs while wearing orthotics does not come without a lot of resistance from him. It also seems that when we are in the Grind- there are multiple skills that we are in the grind for all at once. This is especially frustrating because no matter what skill you work on, there is no reprieve. He hates them all (thumbs down button to the max). Most recently our grind skills have been walking, standing, four point crawling, and communication.

THE CLIMB

While the Climb isn’t as emotionally draining as the Grind can be, it is still sometimes frustrating because you never know how long this stage will last either. However, during this stage, Blaise starts to master a skill, and doesn’t cry or resist as much when practicing the skill. For example, with walking he can start going longer distances before he is too tired to continue, he requires less prompting and help in moving his legs, and can move faster without breaks every few steps. As it relates to communication, he will require less prompting before communicating, or might even communicate without any at all- just not on a consistent basis. The Climb lasts for weeks and even months at times, until he can perform the skill on a regular basis (then he graduates in my mind to the next stage). This doesn’t discount the “little wins” that Blaise has on the way to the next stage. We find some days or weeks Blaise does better than others, so when he does something at 100% one day, that might not be the case two days later. Some days Blaise is more unsteady than others, more tired than others, more distracted than others- but hey, who isn’t?! I would say we have been in our most recent Climb for a few months now. Here are a few videos of Blaise’s “little wins” to date!

THE LANDING

You might wonder why I call it the Landing and not the Peak? He hit the milestone, we should celebrate it instead of giving it a name that is kind of “blah”. While I am over the moon when we hit a milestone after lots of hard work, (I usually say Blaise is “making waves” when he gets there), I call it the Landing because the work isn’t done. It is just time for new work- and we are about to be back in the Grind. I liken it to climbing a mountain that is very cloudy at the top. You climb and climb, and finally reach the clouds- only to find out that the mountain actually continues up for quite some distance. You haven’t reached the peak, just a landing on the way to the top.

I think that these steps are not only the case for Blaise as he works on his skills, but probably for all of us as we go through our lives. In many cases- it is easier to call the “Landing” stage a “Peak”. Why? Because it is easier to say “I have hit my goal” and to bask in that fact than it is to then make a new goal, knowing you are back in the Grind. It is hard to go from the top to the bottom. But that is how we improve and get better. So I suppose we can all take a lesson from Blaise- because the work NEVER stops for him. And really, that is true for most kids. It is only after we get degrees and start jobs, and maybe families of our own, that we tend to lose that fire in our bellies. Here is your wake up call.

And also some adorable pictures from Blaise to assist in your motivation: